Saturday, May 9, 2015

When Peonies Bloom

I am sharing my post from last June
as a loving tribute and a cherished remembrance
to my mother who passed away on June 7, 2013...
and who I am missing so very deeply this Mother's Day.

I still find myself struggling;
sadness cutting its way deep and hard into my soul;
grief still tying my emotions into an unwelcome knot;
tears spilling at unexpected moments;
memories so clear and sharp as if they happened yesterday.

If you are blessed to be with your mother today,
do me a favor.  
Hug her especially long.
Whisper in her ear how much you love her,
and then look into her eyes and tell her again...and again.

I wish I had one more chance to do just that...

I miss you, Mom.
And I love you with every portion of my heart.



June 9, 2013

God's timing is always perfect ~
even though our minds don't always understand it.
Even though it may be painful to us mere humans.
It stretches us.
Grows us.
Makes us stronger.

Snowflakes make the world slumber.
Rain provides a much needed drink.
Clouds cool the earth.
Sunshine brings the blooms.
All in God's perfect timing.

And every person's life is a story written by God's hand.



As roses and peonies spill into the garden back at her farmhouse,
she sits by her mother's bedside in the nursing home.
Twelve days have passed since her father's entrance into heaven.
Still dazed.
Heavy hearted.
World still reeling.




 Remaining simply and humbly in the hands of God,
clinging to him and surrendering herself to his love,
she is still.
Hands clasped.
Words whispered...
"I love you, Mom."

Uncorking the bottle of memories carried deep in her heart,
floating like a sweet fragrance through her soul...

remembering.

Up on tiny tiptoes helping her mother hang laundry by the big old lilac bush in the backyard...

   standing shoulder to shoulder with her mother slicing apples for the pot of simmering homemade cinnamon applesauce on the stove...

walking hand in hand with her mother in the warm sand along the lake shore by the old cottage,
searching for ladybugs...

watching her mother help patrons select books at the library ~ her smile a constant jewel...


As the years passed, the moments changed.
She was the one assisting and lending a hand now.

Helping her aging mother apply her always present lipstick after lunch...

guiding her to the bedroom for an afternoon nap...

lifting her from her chair onto unsteady feet,
her smile ever present.

Threads of life woven into a quilt of forever love.




And now,
she bent her head in prayer over her mother's unresponsive, sleeping body.
Praying for release.
Relief.
Praying for God to take over.
Sitting in the silence of His Presence.
Breathing deep draughts of His Promise.
His peace guarding her heart and pressing close to her mother.

Her hope.
Her song.
 Angels present and hovering near.
Tears fell.
"I will miss you so much, Mom."


I believe in Jehovah God who created the whirling galaxies, the birds soaring in the sky overhead, the endless crashing waves and all that dances within them. I believe in Father of all who knits together life, made in His very own image, in the secret quiet of our beings.
I believe in Jesus Christ, the One with no earthly Father, with the dust of this earth between His toes, and with our names etched onto the palm of His hands, right beneath the nail scars…Who now sits at the Father’s right hand making endless intercession on our behalf. I believe in the stone rolled away, in the Body being raised, in the first fruits of the dead…and us all following soon, very soon.
I believe in the Cross as our only Hope, our only Claim, and our only Foundation. I believe that in the pounding surf of life we have only one thing to cling to: the feet of our Lord, hanging on that tree, His lifeblood flowing down, washing us whiter than snow.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, moving, whispering, indwelling our very skin. I believe in living by the Spirit, walking in the Spirit, and producing fruit in the Spirit…in the Spirit who helps us in our weakness with groanings that can’t be expressed in words.
I believe in the infallibility of the Bible, God’s Word – a sure Word, a pure Word, the only secure Word. I believe the words on those pages are breathed from the very throne room of heaven, are the love letter penned from the heart of the Lover of our souls; a beacon of light for stumbling feet to find sure footing on a dark path.
I believe there is more than believing. There is living what I believe.

~Ann Voskamp


Minutes ticked.
Hours passed.
Quiet.
Searching.
Waiting.

And when God's timing was perfect,
he swept her mother up in his strong arms and carried her tired body,
to be renewed and refreshed,
through the heavenly gates.
His loving embrace warm and healing.

She joined her beloved husband ~ both now made whole.
Healthy.
Happy.
Experiencing the incredible joy, beauty, and wonderment of heaven...

together.

“Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”
Psalm 72:23-26



God's timing.
Always perfect.
Always beautiful.


She will always remember her mother....and her father....
when the roses and peonies bloom.




~  Eucharisteo  ~



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73 comments:

  1. Oh my dear Laurie... It brings tears to my eyes... I'm so deeply, deeply sorry. But as you said: God't timing is perfect. My mind and my heart have been thinking of you constantly for these past few days... Sometimes we just don't understand certain feelings, but we pray. I'm sending much love you way and my prayers too. With love, Vanessa

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  2. Sweetheart, I was so very saddened when I received your email... but also felt a deeper emotion... of your beautiful mama reunited with your daddy once more... free of illness and pain... no more suffering... she does not have to spend another day without him... and now they are both in such a beautiful place... together... smiling as they look down on you... watching over you... always close by, forever in your heart... and at your side... as your roses and peonies bloom... along with your never ending love for them... and theirs for you... I love you too honey, Julie Marie

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  3. Laurie,
    My heart is so connected to you, both our Dad's on the same day and now your loving Mom. Laurie, God's grace gives inner strength and as you said has perfect timing. 12 days apart, oh Laurie my heart feels for you. Now reunited back home forever in love, never to feel pain again after receiving life's release. I love your poetic tribute and your words so beautifully written and so heartfelt. Sending love,
    Vera

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  4. oh Laurie - there are no words - and certainly none that can match yours.
    HE made sure they wouldn't be apart for very long - in all his infiniite wisdom.
    Much love,
    XOXO

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  5. I am so very sorry for you to have such great loss, with barely time to grieve your dad. I'm glad you have grace in your life to carry you through.

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  6. What a beautiful writing of your mama's homegoing and reunion with your father. Praying that God's comfort will envelop you.

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  7. Dear Laurie, I have you in my mind and heart. I feel so deeply sorry. I`m sending you many hugs and love, Alexandra

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  8. Laurie,
    I'm so sorry you lost your Mom so soon after your Dad. Although it hurts so much to let them both go, you know that is where she probably most wanted to be. I told you I lost my Dad a few years ago. I don't know if I told you it was from a car accident that both of my parents were in. My Mother survived with injuries, but often was found saying, she wished she had gone with my Dad. Together in life, together in death. My Mom is still with us and is enjoying life, but I know her heart still longs to be with my Dad and Jesus. Praying for you that your heart will be comforted and filled with the peace of God's timing and wisdom, though we little understand. Sending love and hugs to you this day.
    Cindy

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  9. Oh Laurie, I can't even fathom having to deal with so much pain and loss in such a short time. I have no words other than I am so very sorry:( Lots of thoughts and prayers for you sweet girl.

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  10. Laurie, I have tears in my eyes reading this. My heart is aching for you, sweet friend. Yes, God's timing is perfect, but our hearts still break. I'm sure your mom is with you as she guides your hands over your daily tasks. xo Laura

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  11. Laurie I'm so sad to read this. God does have a master plan but sometimes it's hard being a part of it. Stay strong and know that others are thinking of you and please accept my deep condolences. Many hugs coming your way, Liz

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  12. I'm so sorry for your lose Laurie. I will pray that God gives you peace and comfort. I'll be thinking of you in the coming days.

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  13. Dear Laurie, My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss so close, but so perfect to God's timing. HE knows best how to bring his children home. Your mother and dad once again together healthy and whole. My parents passed into heaven close together too. I hope yours and mine meet and share friendship in their forever home. I know you will keep your memories close and your heart full. Sending you friendship hugs with thoughts and prayers for the days ahead. I am so very sorry. You have my deepest sympathy.
    Love to you dear one~
    CM

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  14. oh, laurie, i'm so sorry. lovely post for your mom--big hugs.

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  15. More tears. How I feel for your loss, Laurie, but at the same time, rejoice in their being together.
    Hugs,
    Lin

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  16. Me encantan las fotografías son geniales. Ha estado un regalo el visitar tu bloc, te invito a visitar el mío y espero que disfrutes del post de esta semana, la decoración hindú de jardines y si no eres seguidora me encantaría que lo fueras, te espero en mi bloc elracodeldetall.blogspot.com

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  17. Oh dear Laurie, you've captured this heart-wrenching moment in a beautiful, loving way. Yes, God's timing is always perfect. Your Mom and Dad are together now, as they always were in this earthly life. You will cherish those touching memories, life's sweet moments with them both, and look forward to seeing them again. The luscious peonies and roses will remind you of the full, rich life your parents shared.
    I'm praying for you...xoxoxo

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  18. God's timing in indeed perfect. I'll bet your mom and dad are rejoicing together in Heaven and talking about how very proud of the beautiful daughter they've raised. So good to know that this isn't the end.
    Blessings dear Laurie,
    Patti

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  19. Laurie and sad news! I send a big hug :)

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  20. So,so sorry sweet Laurie, keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers and sending you a hug. I hope the beautiful memories you shared bring you comfort..xoxo.

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  21. My dear friend.......I don't know what say......All my heart is with you,send you more and more love,warm hugs !!!!!!!!

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  22. Laurie, your words are poetic and capture your sadness well, also knowing that God's timing is perfect, and how good to look forward to the peonies blooming again.

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  24. Laurie, your post is beautiful and a comfort. My youngest son died, unexpectedly a couple of months ago. I know where he is and that I will see him again someday. We have an awesome God who loves us so very,very much!
    Blessings to you,
    Diane

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  25. Dearest Laurie, Your words bring you close to our hearts. I know the pain you feel, though not the closeness in time of both dad and mom passing to glory. I can't begin to know how deep your pain goes, but I know that you rejoice they are together in glory once again. Sending you love and prayers, praying for peace and grace during this time.
    Hugs, Noreen

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  26. Heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I feel your father missed her, and she answered his calling. Blessings to you, so sad to read this, but yes, they are together again. Patty/NS

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  27. Dear Laurie,
    Such beautiful words, every one truth.
    My heart reaches out to you, and you will be in my ongoing prayers.

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  28. Such a beautiful post--I am so sorry for your loss--but so happy for your parents living in paradise together. Take care and remember all the happy times!

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  29. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your father and mother. It's hard to let them go but I've always kept this in mind "it's only a brief time of parting soon we will see our loved ones again and rejoice with them." My prayers go out to you Laurie!

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  30. Dear Laurie your faith is the light that guides your steps... to the Rock of Ages. May you continue letting our Heavenly Father fill your spirit with peace and hope. Praying for you... and His constant peace.

    Love

    Cielo

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  31. Sympathy to you but O how lovely that they were not apart for long...together in Paradise now. Such comfort for the heart.

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  32. So, so sorry for your loss but your tribute in this post is beautiful. You are right, they are together and whole in Heaven and you can rejoice in that. Sending prayers for comfort.

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  33. I came upon your very moving post today and I was deeply touched by your beautiful words of hope, love and comfort. I wish you much peace during this very trying time.
    Blessings,
    LuAnn

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  34. It's amazing how pain and beauty can intersect. You are blessed to have not only a lifetime of sweet memories, but the joy blessing of being with your mum at the threshold of heaven. Praying for the Lord's peace and comfort as you grieve.

    Alison

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  35. Hey Laurie! What a tough time you've been going through in the last weeks. My heart breaks for you to lose both your Dad and Mum so close together ... yet having 'met' them through your blog, I know their sadness at leaving you would be balanced with joy to be together and with their Lord. And what a blessing for you to have the assurance that one day you will be reunited with them. In the meantime, peonies and roses are a beautiful way to celebrate the joy and beauty they brought to your life, which you have now shared with all of us who visit you - Thank you for sharing your folks with us. Many Comforting Bear Hugs from Down Under. KRIS

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  36. Laurie your constant faith and love of God is a balm to us all. My thoughts and prayers are with you in the light of so much sorrow, but you know that His word is truth. They are resting in the arms of our Lord and savior, blessed be His name. Keep writing, the words that flow from your heart are His own healing voice.
    Blessings,
    Patti

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  37. Oh Laurie, how beautiful. I am sitting here with tears. I know this feeling of joy and pain. It's only been 4 years with six months between my parent's death. Mama went first and Daddy was ready. I believe too! I love Ann Koscamp. I still have not finished my list of 1000. I need to go back and start again. Beautiful post. Just beautiful!

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  38. I am so sorry for your double loss Laurie. Some would say fate is cruel. Thank God we do not live by fate, but by faith. Our God is not a cruel God. In his unfathomable love, he knew your mom and dad needed to be together with him. They are now filled with unspeakable joy with no more pain and suffering. They are now part of that heavenly host cheering you on to finish the race set before you. I know your pain is deep, but I also know the Lord is your comfort. Before we know it we will all be together forever. Oh what a day that will be! Hugs to you my gentle friend. You will be in my prayers.
    Blessings, Deborah

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  39. I was so moved by your post I had to make it a pick of the week. You captured emotions that so many have but so few could express as elegantly.

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  40. Laurie, I'm so shocked! I didn't realize that you had just lost both of your parents so close to each other! I knew about your mom's disease. It seems just like yesterday that you mentioned it! I am SO sorry to hear of your loss. Your double loss. Words cannot give you enough comfort at this difficult time. But I know that God can and will find a way for you to feel whole again. You and your family are in my hearts and prayers right now.

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  41. Thinking of you Laurie and wishing you peace and comfort.

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  42. Laurie, Believing in Christ and knowing both of your parents are together gives me peace. My parents too are gone on this special day. Sending you prayers.
    Jody

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  43. Dear Laurie, as hard as it is to let go of your precious mother how wonderful is God's timing? The two are now reunited. I can see your father's arms stretched out to embrace her. Prayers for you my friend. Yes, those gorgeous blooms will always be a reminder of your dear parents passing. But sweet memories will come with them! Thanks for sharing your tender moments with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

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  44. Laurie,
    I am thinking of you my friend and sending my love.
    XO,
    Vera

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  45. Laurie your words are so beautiful. I hope you are finding peace. I saw your article in Romantic Country. Your place is so beautiful. You create such beauty, I feel it is because you feel and give love. Peace Laurie. Thinking of you.

    dianne

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  46. Oh my gosh! Whoa... That is so much to have to deal with ... I'm so sorry for any pain and sadness you are feeling. But i have to say, and i don't want to in any way diminish the sadness and loss that you must be going through - But your words, your epitaph, your prayer are so tender sweet, sad, and joyous at the same time. In a way, you make the passing sound beautiful. Like a magical journey back home...

    Cindy

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  47. Laurie,
    You have written such a beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss, but as you have said it is we who shall be comforted, because God's timing was perfect that they will be eternally at peace and with each other.
    Hugs,
    Sherry

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  48. Oh Laurie I'm so sorry for your loss....how beautiful that they journeyed together in life and love and that they are now together in paradise forever....
    sending you much love and prayers....
    Gail x

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  49. Beautifully written. I am sorry for you loss. I had now idea what you were going through. Love to you and your family.

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  50. Laurie, what a sad but beautifully written post about gods perfect timing. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother and father so close together. May you be comforted by god's perfect grace.

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  51. I know I've already commented above - just checking in to see that everything is ok
    Thinking of you Laurie
    xoxoxo

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  52. Oh! Laurie,
    What beautiful timing for a feature for you!
    I know when sorrow is so all around you it seams so very hard to see beyond it. Maybe this will add a little joy!......

    I picked up my issue of Romantic Country magazine created by editor Fifi O'Neill
    While turning page by page there you were PAGE 18- 29
    12 pages of your shabby beauty, and a captured photo of your beauty as well.
    I have looked at it several time now enjoying your photos and life story in the charm of your home, family, and collecting....along with all you create.

    Beautiful job my dear,
    What a blessed time for this issue.

    Xoxo
    Dore

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  53. Hi Laurie stopping back by to see how you are doing and wish you a peaceful last of June weekend.
    Also Congrats on your wonderful feature in Romantic Country. It is fabulous and I loved reading and seeing more of your gorgeous home. Well deserved and at such a good time too.
    Thoughts and prayers my friend.
    Hugs

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  54. Wrapping the arms of my heart around you dear Laurie and entrusting you to His most tender care.
    All my love,
    Deborah xoxoxoxoxo

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  55. Loved your poetry a lot. It's heart wrenching. It feels like heaven when I read your posts. Loved them truly. - Kitchen re-modeller in Bearsden

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  56. Dearest Laurie ,
    I am an old follower and your blog is my favourite .Today I see that in every post ,at the end you use the word ~ Eucharisteo ~ Please can you explain to me what it means ? Thank you for your time .

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind comments today, my friend. It truly means so much to me. Eucharisteo is the act of giving thanks BEFORE the miracle instead of only afterwards. If we live our lives constantly giving thanks, we live in Christ more easily and see the blessings that he pours on us more clearly and more often. Bless you! ♥

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  57. There simply are no words. Feeling the loss of both my parents is indescribable. My heart is with you. God will see us through even if we carry this loss always. Remember ...we will see them again.

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  58. By the way...so good to hear from you. I check on your blog regularly. Please continue blogging when your heart allows.

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  59. So sorry about your loss, may you remember this time and know that you are loved!

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  60. Laurie your words are from such a deep place. My heart is full of compassion towards you. You were so blessed to have known such a love from your Mom. I have not. But I have known the love of dear Grandmothers...and the deep love of being a momma to my four children. Your gardens are so abundant. It amazes me how so many flowers can bloom after being covered in snow for so many months. I hope you were able to find peace today as you reflect on your Mother's love. xxo

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  61. Touching post. I just lost my Mom in January- a difficult thing. Waking each day to see my daughter's face is a balm. Take care.

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  62. What an absolutely beautiful tribute to your Mother. Thank you for sharing with the Clever Chicks Blog Hop! I hope you’ll join us again next week!

    Cheers,
    Kathy Shea Mormino
    The Chicken Chick
    http://www.The-Chicken-Chick.com

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  63. So beautiful Laurie! Thanks for sharing at HSH!

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  64. What a beautiful beautiful post Laurie! I hope my own daughter's think these things and remember the days of being at my side during the daily chores on the farm. Your mother gave you a wonderful gift when she did things with you. How blessed you are my dear!
    sending hugs...

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  65. Dear Laurie,
    A lovely tribute to your precious Mother. We never stop missing our mothers. Ever!!! I too think I my Mother everyday. In time it will get a little easier. How truly blessed we are. My mother once said to me, do not cry because I am gone, smile because I had lived!

    Hugs
    Rosemary

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  66. Laurie, what a sweet tribute to your sweet mother! I miss mine dearly and she passed in '200l'. I thank God daily for the special memories that I hold in my heart. I think of my mother always during the month of June. The month she was born and named after. Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

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  67. Laurie, You are a very special daughter to have written such a wonderful tribute to her mother. I love this post! Sending hugs.
    Jody

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  68. The tears are in my eyes, dear Laurie, and I am so sad, too. Your words touched my heart and my soul. We never stop missing our parents. I love your poetic photos, too and I love Paeonias. The first begins to bloom now. All the best Edith from Germany

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  69. Dear Laurie, what a touching heartfelt post to honor your mother. I know how much you miss her. My last dinner with my sweet mother was on Mother's Day in my home. I cherish that last time together and miss her still everyday.
    Sending hugs and prayers your grief will be less as time goes on.

    Thank you for stopping by and your kind comment. So nice to see you.
    Hugs and Blessings for a nice holiday weekend.
    CM

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  70. Laurie, what a gift this post is to me this morning. No matter how old we are, or how long ago our mom passed away, it is a huge miss in our days and life. I pray that the Lord will comfort you each time your missing her is almost too hard to bear.

    I miss my mom so much, yet am so grateful to know she is with her heavenly Father, waiting for all of us. She had her birthday a while ago, and it was a difficult day. B

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  71. Your pics are beautiful and I also, love the bohemian look. I'd say my clothes are more on target for that look, but my house has many elements of it too. It's the best for color, great for kids, wear and tear with all the texture, and kind of came right out of my generation and is back in now!

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Bless you and thank you for visiting! I read each of your comments and treasure them all. So, please make sure your settings will accept emails, or leave your email address so that I can reply! ♥ Laurie