Romantic Ruffled Bedskirt

I ordered a five tiered ruffled bed skirt for my king size bed from Wayfair this past winter because I loved the romantic look of it.  They were sold out of white. I hoped that the "ivory" color wasn't too yellowy like I've quickly  learned that ivory can be.

Well....much to my dismay, it was.

So, I hauled out my trusty lavender scented bleach and bleached the dickens out of it.

(Like for 15 hours).

Then used White Brite to remove any remaining yellowy tinge.

Oh...just wonderful.

It turned a pretty shade of yellowy cream with alien green thrown in for good measure.

So, I bleached it again.

For another 15 hours ~

and used the whitener for about 8 hours.

It ended up being a tolerable shade of creamy white,

so I threw it on the bed thinking that The Husband and I were the only ones that had to look at it.

This photo doesn't show the sickly shade it truly was.

 

You guessed it.

By this summer, I was sick to death of it.

The "too many ruffles" that my eyes now saw, consistently looked wrinkled and scrunched up ~ which in my book ~ isn't romantic at all.

Nobody wants to look wrinkled and scrunched up in bed, do they?

I knew that I had a couple SSC duvet covers that I had successfully bleached to creamy white perfection that were just sitting in the willow trunk in the guest room.

Hmmmm.....I wonder......?

I called upon my favorite West coast seamstress/buddy/beloved blog sister for help.

 Shellagh at Ticking & Toile Linens was patient with my frustrated whining

and agreed to create a bed skirt from the duvets.

It arrived the other day.

I eagerly ripped open the box.

I think I heard angels singing.

And bells ringing.

Yeah.

There were bells ringing

(like on Christmas morning).

I placed the lovliness in the dryer with a damp towel and a couple Gain dryer sheets

(my favorite)

and let it rock and roll for about 20 minutes to get the wrinkles out

and then wrapped myself in those creamy ruffles, and pranced up the stairs to the bedroom.

I was going to manhandle this king size bed myself

because I wanted that bedskirt on in the worst way.

I HAD to see those ruffles in all their glory ~

and The Husband wasn't around so I could supervise him to help.

This is how you do it solo, girls:

1. Grab pillows and sheets and throw in hallway.

2. Stand on one side of bed and take a deep breath while grabbing side of mattress and heaving upwards.

3. Fall back against wall while mattress thumps back on bed.

4. Repeat #2.

5. Take deep breath and grunt loudly as mattress bends in middle and moves one measly inch.

6. Repeat #2.

7. Go around to opposite side of bed and try pulling mattress toward you.

8.  Repeat #2.

9. Stand there and say naughty words under your breath while trying to catch your breath.

10. Repeat #2 while simultaneously grunting loudly like a caveman woman and pushing
(glad that there is no one there to hear you).

11. Watch as mattress miraculously lifts.

12.  Quickly step up on box spring and push up with all your might.

13. Do NOT look at arm fat swinging like an apron in the wind.

14. Look up to see ceiling fan 1" from your head.

15.  Duck.

16. Get angry at arm fat and as adrenalin spikes, throw bed against wall.

17. Make sure bed does not fall on top of you and squash you and your arm fat.

(THAT would not be pretty.)

18. Step off bed and realize......mattress is now blocking doorway AND
beautiful new bedskirt is in the guestroom across the hallway!

(sugarjets!)

19. Try to burn off swinging arm fat and position yourself at end of mattress and push.

20.  Squeeze through opening in doorway and retrieve beautiful bed skirt waiting for you in guest room.

21. Squeeze back into bedroom and watch as beautiful bed skirt gently floats down upon the box spring - marveling at the delicious double ruffles flowing and draping onto the floor.

22.  Spread out beautiful ruffles on floor and look up to be greeted by wet nose and furry face.

23. Kiss furry face and place her back on floor.

24.  Turn to grab camera to photograph ruffles and realize camera is on hallway floor.

(sugarjets!)

25.  Squeeze back through opening and retrieve camera.

26. Realize that you could'ave waited to take photos.  

Duh.

27. Grab one end of mattress and slide it slowly toward bed

making sure cute furry face is not on box spring.

(Do NOT want to squash cute furry face.)

28.  Let wobbeling mattress fall back on box spring with a crash

as you take out the lamp on the side table.

29. Make note to pick up new lamp at store this week. 

(Smart move, cave woman.)

30. Scootch (yes, that's my word and I'm sticking with it) mattress across box spring inch by inch until repositioned.

31. Dance around bed as you tuck in clean linens (smelling deliciously of Gain) while sweet furry face helps by patting out wrinkles.

32. Lay on floor like contortionist and take photos of beautiful ruffles while cute little furry face (who somehow made her way back on bed) looks over the side at you and rolls around on freshly made bed ~
as deliriously happy with the new beautiful ruffles beneath her as you are.

(A bath in the ruffles sounds quite nice...

and a little more sprawling, of course.)

33.  Continue to contort on floor to photograph beautiful romantic ruffles..

(*sigh!*)

(*big sigh*...)

until Husband's voice behind you warily says,   

 "What...in...the...world..are...you...doing down there...???"

And that's how it's done...

solo.

 ~ Blessings ~

[Want another laugh today?  Check out Suzan's blog.

But be sure you're sitting down.

And don't forget to visit Shellagh's beautiful blog and linen shop!]

 

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