Rooms in my heart

"Utterly engulfed

and wanting more,

buried,

drowned,

intoxicated,

with the vastness of Love.

Losing myself as the waves wash over me,

through me,

surrounding me;

Caught up in a hurricane of overwhelming peace,

I have let go,

and He has found me."

                           -James L. Rubart

I just finished reading this fictional book by a very inspiring Christian author.

It spoke to me like no other book has.

It forced me to take a good hard look at who I was

and what kind of heart I had.

What did I keep in the rooms in my heart?

It hurt to look

and I was not happy with myself.

What did God see when he looked at me?

When He looked into the rooms of my heart,

was He pleased with who I had become?

Was I living the life for which He intended me to?

Was there room enough in my heart for all that He was and had to offer me?

{source}

And in response, He humbled me this past week.

Brought me down to my knees in complete and utter weakness. 

Tears of pain, and frustration at myself ebbed and flowed like an angry sea in my soul.

I felt spent,

lonely,

lost,

and 

drowning.

Crumpled, torn, and tossed in the wet sand

like a leaf ripped from a sea grape.

I was forced to look deep inside my heart

to search for the woman that He created me to be,

and to rediscover my purpose in life ~

to know God intimately and to enjoy Him forever.

{source}

"You will make known to me the path of life;

In Your presence is fullness of joy;

In Your right hand there are pleasures forever."

- Psalm 16:11

I needed to hear His voice of reassurance and comfort.

I needed to know that He had not abandoned me in disappointment.

I needed to be lifted up and strengthened in His love 

and by His grace.

I needed to know that I was not alone.

{source}

"I will go before you and make the rough places smooth;

I will shatter the doors of bronze and cut through their iron bars.

I will give you the treasures of darkness

And hidden wealth of secret places,

So that you may know that it is I,

The Lord, the God of Israel,

who calls you by your name."

-Isaiah 45:2-3

{source}

He called me by my name.

I heard Him clearly and lovingly.

He was with me as I worked outside today.

He was there in the hot sun on my shoulders

and the smell of the fresh cut grass.

I could see His reflection in Maizie's big brown eyes as she stood in the big bathtub

amidst the soapy bubbles.

He spoke to me of forgiveness

and love,

and pressed upon me the importance of living a simple life.

One that I work with my hands

and create things that glorify His name.

{source: The Robin & Sparrow, Etsy}

Picking, freezing, and canning vegetables from the garden

and fruits from the trees.

Hanging sweet smelling laundry out on the line.

Feeding the birds and squirrels that live in the old trees embracing this old farmhouse.

Living peacefully,

quietly,

simply,

and reverently;
glorifying His name in everything that I do.

{source: It's Me}

God swept the rooms in my heart clean.

He forgave me.

He lifted me up.

He held me in his arms,

and He loved me

back to joy.

{source}

I rediscovered the incredible love that has always been there for me.

That I had pushed aside for my "wants" and "needs".

The love that I had been so trivially taking for granted.

"A key to open heart's desires,

yours and those beyond,

Cords are cut and chains are broken

when we live our calling strong."

{source}

 I am still walking with God ~

only a lot closer this time,
clinging to his strength,

and will practice listening to the Holy Spirit -
knowing that I will find Him in the quiet -

because I don't want to miss anything He has to say.

I wear His key of truth around my neck that will open the treasure in my heart.
His treasure.

I wait to hear His voice

in the peacefulness of my days

here at Heaven's Walk.

And I am listening to my heart,

for it knows the truth

because it is  

"where the temple is and where the King dwells."

{source: Sparrowsong Scripture Tags}

In a room

in my heart...

{humble hugs}

PS  My apologies for not replying to all of your sweet comments
this week. Know that I treasure each and every one...

{I am linking to the parties on the lower right of my sidebar.
I pray that you will be inspired.}